I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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