Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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