I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I believe in your delicious
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
