i was born a porn star she said
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
