Cold hands, warm shart.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
