Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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