2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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