There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize