I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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