I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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