is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
