No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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