just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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