I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize