he wants to bone in the snuggie
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
