You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
