Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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