my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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