Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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