You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
