Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
