Can Purell be used as lube?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
