i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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