the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i've created a new STD.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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