i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
