as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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