Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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