i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
