woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just had sex on a roof
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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