I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
