How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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