Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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