My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
