I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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