well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
