I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize