Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
