Jerry, you need to find god
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
