I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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