kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
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I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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