i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize