Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
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Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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