Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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