I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is Oprah even human
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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