So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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