mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
