his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
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Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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