I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
