The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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