I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
