As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
