who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
