It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
