Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
