I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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