You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
